Explaining and Understanding.
The way this blog came be alive again was by explaining the benefits of having such an outlet to somebody else. You can follow the Twitter thread here.
Simply, sometimes the best way to make do or understand something is to explain it to someone else. Sometimes, it makes you reflect and write, just because you cannot think of a sensible argument as to why you shouldn’t. (The main counter point, the energy and time expenditure, seems easily enough acknowledged and worked around.)
I often struggle with the disconnect between the things I feel and the things I think I should feel, but don’t. My brain frequently likes to muscle down my emotions with explanations of why I really should feel this way or It doesn’t make sense to be feeling that way. This then only manifests as “weird” unexpected reactions, lashing out, sudden emotional impact I was not at all prepared for, and I’m left wondering why precisely that is the case.
I’ve realised that I can also use this in reverse, to explain why I should feel a certain why with an emotional chain of arguments, which makes the emotions feel “justified”. As such, the explanation-technique that usually muscles down feelings can also work to empower them, to let them be felt consciously and thoroughly.
Now, I just need to figure out how to make that less costly, and more naturalistic. Perhaps that’s not needed. Perhaps only the first bit of conscious effort is required, and the rest will flow with less conscious effort required as the feelings start feeling more in-place and less invasive. Hopefully.